TL;DR – All types of workers, everywhere…
Read on and try to identify these characters in your team? 😉 While you can’t fully eliminate such types of workers in the office, you can do your best to steer clear of some of these toxic archetypes and hope your bosses are wise enough to see through their tactics!
Mr Chiong Ah!
To him, CEP is not: “Career Ending Point”, it means “Can do Everything, Pronto!” He volunteers for everything, is super efficient, stays late to work hard and… get this… replies emails on weekends. Bosses love him but colleagues pretty much hate him.
He’s a great complement to Mr Chao Geng (we’ll come to him later) but is fighting with everyone else for that A during appraisal season. He is the grown version of the teacher’s pet and his work ethic makes you question the concept of work-life balance.
Mr Nice Guy
His favourite words are “I agree with you”. He is the nicest, most positive person you’ve met in the office. Whatever idea you propose, he can get behind. He strives to make everyone feel welcome, validate all opinions and is considerate about everyone’s feelings.
Nevermind if an idea is utter rubbish, Mr Nice Guy will still try and find some good in it. He might never be the one to start a conflict but you might just never get real feedback or bank on Mr Nice Guy for good judgment.
Ms Debbie Downer
You’ve lost track of the number of times she has said “I don’t think this will work”. As the bringer of gloom and doom, Ms Debbie Downer threatens to dampen the whole atmosphere when she walks into the office. Her negative emotions are contagious, sending colleagues into negative spirals.
The first to complain and the last to compliment, there is absolutely no ray of hope, optimism or enthusiasm in her eyes. She makes you acutely aware of how tough life can be and the only positive is she’s too negative to get a promotion.
Mr Chao Geng
He is the record holder for the most number of MCs taken per year with every Monday having a 50-50 chance of him showing up in the office. On the other days, he comes late, takes long lunches and tries to sneak out of the office by 6pm. During the short hours Mr Chao Geng is in the office, he’s likely on a smoke break (even though he is not a smoker) or having “tummy troubles again” in the toilet.
He has so many excuses for why he can’t work or volunteer for certain tasks that you feel deep down that he must be a very creative person – “My fortune teller mentioned I can’t step out of the house on Saturday for feng shui reasons so I can’t volunteer to help out.” You definitely can count on him… to be the first one to slack off.
Ms Curry Favour
The only true contender in the office to Mr Chiong Ah in the bosses’ eyes, Ms Curry Favour goes all out of her way to create a good impression for bosses and colleagues that will help her with her climb up the career ladder. Workers like her are quick to volunteer for tasks that will put them in the spotlight while not actually trying to put in too much effort. She is also very generous, buying coffee and snacks… but only for the superiors. She has offered to help the bosses with mundane things like scheduling and air ticket booking, even going so far to help them pick up laundry. Ever ready for Beer O’Clock with the bosses, she grabs any chance to schmooze with the bosses and wiggle her way into promotions.
With the amazing and yet very scary ability to creep up behind people, Ms Busybody is a walking encyclopedia of who is dating who, which colleague is having marital issues, who bought a new house/car/<insert other material items of significant value>, who has mental well-being issues and down to who had what for lunch!
She feels entitled to the information about people’s private lives and makes you feel like maybe her true calling would be as a spy. Ms Busybody is actually quite fun to have around, until your life becomes her fodder for gossip. She is more up-to-date than your Norton antivirus software and the only person who knows more about your personal life than you do.
Any of these types of workers sound familiar? Share your stories with us!